It's 11:27 AM or so. I woke up.. 10 minutes ago? Not quite sure. I'm tired. I got about 8 hours of sleep and it doesn't seem enough, which is pretty funny.
I say it doesn't seem enough because my head hurts. My neck does a small bit as well, all on the left side. Probably the same side that it did yesterday, I don't have the patience to go back and look. Not got the patience for much right now. Fairly sure I've woken up with the feeling again, ruling out my thought that it only happens when I oversleep.
The feeling, since I don't believe I've explained yet, is the feeling that makes me want to curl up and sleep and stay in my dreams all day, withdraw from the world. Probably just because the world sucks and has pain, and is rather unchanging. Well; I can change it, we all can. But whenever I try to change something that really bothers me they end up angry at me and things get worse. They only change for the worse with my parents.
Maybe that's why I find it so hard to speak? To bring up stuff that bugs me with even my boyfriend, even though he won't really get that angry? Maybe because I'm just afraid of the same reaction I get from them?
Damn, I never thought of it like that, but it makes sense, eh?
Wow, I'm seriously talking to myself.
But it helps, it does.
I put down thoughts faster on here than I can write them, plus there's far more space. That helps things, considering I think fast, and type closer to that speed than I write.
Wonder if I should show this to my psychiatrist when I finally go to see them, or just collect data from these to show?
Meh.
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